asdr_is_a_king

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Asdr_is_a_king's favorite FMLs

By Big B - 04/02/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

agreeclassic 25 063

vote type 1 45 574

By i fuckin love habaneros - 22/07/2016 19:19 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML

agreeclassic 17 869

vote type 1 2 404

Maintenance

By DoubledTrouble - 21/07/2016 11:58 - United States - Washington

Today, my kids overheard me talking about cleaning the fuel system in our RV before we go to Disney World. They were so eager to get there, they decided they'd clean the fuel system themselves while I was at work, namely by pouring Tide into the gas tank. FML

agreeclassic 15 244

vote type 1 1 305

By sickofthisshit - 02/07/2016 16:43 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML

agreeclassic 14 255

vote type 1 1 031

By The_Waffle - 14/05/2016 17:17 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML

agreeclassic 13 604

vote type 1 921