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Derpshit_com's favorite FMLs

By rexob - 04/02/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

agreeclassic 245 518

vote type 1 13 947

rexob app_comment_confession_title

rexob 0

Monday 9 February 2009 23:13

thanks for all those who are genuinely concerned...i really appreciate it. i'm hanging in there, and hopefully my sister will be alright. we've been to therapy and i think it's helped her, but i don't know how this will come up later in life for us. again, i really appreciate those of you who took this seriously.

Musical interlude

By Charlie529 - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa - New Germany

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

agreeclassic 47 937

vote type 1 14 204

Charlie529 app_comment_confession_title

Charlie529 5

Thursday 20 February 2014 18:08

My nick's misleading, but that is my name and I am a girl! Anyways. Thought I'd tell you all that I didn't get fired (O.o)/ However, I did have to give him (boss) an (exceptionally awkward) explanation because he thought I was watching funny youtube videos. He just keeps giving me the weirdest/funniest friggin' looks, and now uses the the keyword "Deep Purple" to get me to make him coffee. This acrid event seems to have made us friends. Thankfully my bowels have re-aligned to perfectly silent working condition. God, I hope he doesn't bring this up at the next work party. /dies

Boomer humor

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

agreeclassic 49 367

vote type 1 6 336

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

agreeclassic 23 279

vote type 1 62 423

By SirDirtyRedD - 25/01/2014 01:03 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

agreeclassic 414

vote type 1 40

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SirDirtyRedD 15

Saturday 25 January 2014 20:11

i would just like to make a point that he is only six he has plenty of time to make better plans lol