Johnny5

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Los Angeles
40 years-old
Saturday 10 August 1985
single

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Johnny5's favorite FMLs

By Thumbsup - 02/04/2019 20:00

Today I was making out with my boyfriend and reached down under his shorts (for the first time) and I couldn't find his penis. So I reached further down, found his balls.. and his hard penis was the size of my thumb. FML

agreeclassic 2 749

vote type 1 353

By Dying Son - 05/04/2019 12:00

Today, as I was sitting on a bench thinking about an upcoming test, some hysterical woman slapped me out of nowhere because she thought I was staring at her ass. I was staring blankly into the void. FML

agreeclassic 2 104

vote type 1 192

By Anna - 05/04/2019 14:00

Today is Friday February 1st and my boyfriend my’s two year anniversary is on Sunday the 3rd which also happens to be the super bowl. We made plans to have a nice date night and just hangout until he told me that he got tickets to go the Super Bowl and he was taking one of his friends. FML

agreeclassic 1 266

vote type 1 283

By THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!!! - 20/11/2018 21:00 - Philippines - Pasay City

Today, my mom's boyfriend's son stole from me again, this time it's my $4000 gaming laptop. I confronted them about it, and he ignored me as my mom yelled at me to "Grow up and quit my whining about toys!" When I told my buddy, he said to just beat him up. I would, if only he wasn't 10. FML

agreeclassic 3 408

vote type 1 319

By Whoops - 02/11/2018 14:00

Today, my mom decided she wants to try a new family bonding experiment: Being naked around the house for an entire week. She wants us all to eat dinner, watch tv, etc. completely naked. She says she will ground me and my siblings if we don't try it. FML

agreeclassic 5 265

vote type 1 274