fooad444

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Fooad444's favorite FMLs

Mortifying

By whatashame - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

agreeclassic 22 561

vote type 1 80 767

By Anonymous - 24/11/2015 13:17 - United States - Westborough

Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML

agreeclassic 23 363

vote type 1 6 933

People are awful

By Anonymous - 07/09/2015 14:21 - Australia - Auburn

Today, I saw a dick for the first time in my life, on the early morning crowded train headed for work. FML

agreeclassic 30 513

vote type 1 2 890

By W T F - 03/06/2015 07:22 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

agreeclassic 44 233

vote type 1 3 668

By Infiltrator4444 - 26/07/2012 01:11 - United States - Lexington

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

agreeclassic 11 788

vote type 1 38 453

Infiltrator4444 app_comment_confession_title

Infiltrator4444 6

Thursday 26 July 2012 19:26

I told my father that it's something all guys do at least once, and that he probably did too, to which he replied, "Son, I don't have enough to measure."