monkeymegmo

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Nowhere, michigan
31 years-old
Friday 11 November 1994
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A propos de Monkeymegmo

All the single ladies put ur hands up (raises hand)

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Monkeymegmo's favorite FMLs

Wurdz is hard

By Holy Testacles - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression, "Knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as, "Kill yourself." FML

agreeclassic 31 194

vote type 1 7 971

Touched by the Hand of God

By lils - 05/08/2012 17:45 - United States

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

agreeclassic 42 203

vote type 1 3 107

Potterheads, man…

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 02:06 - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

agreeclassic 16 826

vote type 1 62 108

By Anonymous - 11/04/2012 21:41 - Canada - Orillia

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

agreeclassic 29 615

vote type 1 2 297

By anonymous - 13/01/2012 05:05 - Canada

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

agreeclassic 15 314

vote type 1 52 248