nanjiii_fml

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36 years-old
Saturday 03 June 1989
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Nanjiii_fml's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 02/09/2017 15:26

Aujourd'hui, je décide de jouer avec mon copain. Je lui touche le nez en lui disant : "Chat-nez !" Il m'a retouché l'épaule en me disant : "Chaton !" Chaton ? Oui, chat-thon. VDM

agreeclassic 9 685

vote type 1 1 322

By mafille - 19/03/2015 03:22 - France

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

agreeclassic 569

vote type 1 60

By chumman - 06/05/2014 13:55 - United States - New York

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

agreeclassic 58 185

vote type 1 20 932

By littlekellilee - 07/10/2013 16:20 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

agreeclassic 50 180

vote type 1 5 077

littlekellilee app_comment_confession_title

littlekellilee 45

Tuesday 8 October 2013 4:45

Thanks for the kind words towards my cat, she's feeling much better! The comments were all hilarious! I think he was just still feeling sensitive about the fight because he apologized shortly after and admitted to acting crazy. I think I'll probably keep him around, he's a pretty good guy usually and definitely hasn't done this before. I'll keep an eye out though. Thanks everyone!

By Craigslist is Evil. - 24/09/2013 18:12 - United States - Dickson

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

agreeclassic 57 336

vote type 1 5 483