ElementSponge

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Elementsponge's favorite FMLs

Horror movie

By ihatevideos - 16/03/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989." They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

agreeclassic 194 824

vote type 1 37 514

Congratulations!

By jennabee97 - 08/11/2014 23:02 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

agreeclassic 46 957

vote type 1 4 328

By notsofriendly - 06/11/2014 20:15 - United States - Austin

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

agreeclassic 38 807

vote type 1 7 840

By Isa_Marie0113 - 03/11/2014 23:32 - United States - Groton

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

agreeclassic 35 384

vote type 1 4 983

Isa_Marie0113 app_comment_confession_title

Isa_Marie0113 17

Sunday 30 November 2014 3:00

Hey guys! I wrote that FML. Yep, wasn't one of my best moments, but it's something we can laugh at now especially since he's usually the one that's gassy! Thanks for reading it and I hope you all had a good laugh too! (I would just like to add that I'm about to click "Spill the beans!" and I'm dying over the irony.)

By Dezzy - 03/11/2014 19:06 - United States - Springfield

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

agreeclassic 42 277

vote type 1 4 941