Parcivel

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Parcivel's favorite FMLs

On the wagon

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 16:01 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

agreeclassic 31 371

vote type 1 17 617

We're bad at this

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 20:24 - United States - Chandler

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

agreeclassic 49 555

vote type 1 12 079

By Anonymous - 03/07/2014 16:42 - France - Beausoleil

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

agreeclassic 54 607

vote type 1 4 643

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 22:02 - United Kingdom - Sherborne

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

agreeclassic 46 591

vote type 1 7 550

By The Rock's arse - 04/07/2014 20:29 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

agreeclassic 37 163

vote type 1 7 442