lisabh

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Lisabh's favorite FMLs

People will collect literally anything

By freaked out - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I discovered why my girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting my nails. She collects my clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

agreeclassic 34 153

vote type 1 2 679

Wurdz is hard

By Holy Testacles - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression, "Knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as, "Kill yourself." FML

agreeclassic 31 194

vote type 1 7 971

By tdudey123 - 11/09/2012 23:07 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I decided to be a gentleman and let an old lady have my seat on the bus. Before I could even get up, she sat on my lap and wouldn't get off. I got an involuntary lap dance from a grandma. FML

agreeclassic 26 990

vote type 1 2 134

tdudey123 app_comment_confession_title

tdudey123 14

Wednesday 12 September 2012 16:12

I'm just gonna comment for the badge :P And yes, she was moving around, due to the bus rattling around (I hope).

Now casting

By WhyAppleWhy - 01/09/2012 23:14 - United States - Sarasota

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

agreeclassic 22 582

vote type 1 52 915

By Sarah - 30/08/2012 12:58 - United States - Hampton Bays

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

agreeclassic 38 901

vote type 1 2 124