joeofwinterfell

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Joeofwinterfell's favorite FMLs

FIRE!

By blck - 01/01/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

agreeclassic 25 692

vote type 1 3 932

Mood ruiner

By RuinedTheMood - 21/09/2014 05:11 - United States - Tomball

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said, "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded, "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

agreeclassic 48 019

vote type 1 13 512

By immature - 18/09/2014 19:20 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

agreeclassic 37 944

vote type 1 6 392

By Anonymous - 03/09/2014 18:24 - United States - White Plains

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

agreeclassic 38 772

vote type 1 5 306

Take it seriously!

By very punny - 03/09/2014 03:18 - United States - Odenton

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

agreeclassic 49 693

vote type 1 6 453