krakenbanana

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Krakenbanana - Followers

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Krakenbanana's favorite FMLs

By Tom - 15/01/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

agreeclassic 26 158

vote type 1 2 705

By Anonymous - 30/05/2016 02:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was at church singing and my solo came up. As I walked through the crowd, this big woman caught the holy spirit and slapped the crap out of me. It was so hard, my fake tooth came out. FML

agreeclassic 14 298

vote type 1 1 469

By scarred for life - 28/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Carmel

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

agreeclassic 18 591

vote type 1 4 087

By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 10:34 - United States - Lubbock

Today, I found an injured rabbit by the side of the road. I was about to take it to the local vet, when my husband picked it up and casually snapped its neck. "No rabbit's worth my money" he said, forgetting that he's been a jobless moocher for over 3 years. Pass me the goddamn divorce papers. FML

agreeclassic 19 969

vote type 1 2 647

By anon - 11/05/2016 01:30 - United States - Bronx

Today, I went on a date with my long time crush of three years. Everything was going great, until I found out he supports Donald Trump. FML

agreeclassic 18 940

vote type 1 5 512