daleto89

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Boston, USA
36 years-old
Tuesday 23 May 1989
single

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Daleto89's favorite FMLs

By f*ckingdisgusted - 27/08/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

agreeclassic 34 710

vote type 1 56 868

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

agreeclassic 34 198

vote type 1 2 869

Suburbia

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 14:05 - United Kingdom

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

agreeclassic 24 875

vote type 1 3 028

Don't mind me

By everyonewasstaring - 22/12/2009 23:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML

agreeclassic 33 609

vote type 1 4 362

Creepy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML

agreeclassic 46 440

vote type 1 3 674