fredlax9

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Fredlax9's favorite FMLs

Alas, poor Salem

By Stalked - 15/11/2011 00:46 - United States

Today, a policeman and I confronted my psychotic neighbor, who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

agreeclassic 44 739

vote type 1 2 775

Hot boy summer

By dumbassbuffet - 11/11/2011 15:53 - Canada

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

agreeclassic 20 755

vote type 1 84 129

By boopadoop - 20/10/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

agreeclassic 48 261

vote type 1 5 560

BoopADoop app_comment_confession_title

BoopADoop 9

Friday 21 October 2011 2:47

It was only like two seconds later

All in the hood

By FoundMyLighter - 21/11/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll, towards a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

agreeclassic 47 852

vote type 1 8 853

Poetry in politics

By blondie101 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

agreeclassic 13 994

vote type 1 100 483