earljonez

0
Followed

2
Followers

22
Badges!

99
Comments

3840
Visits

68
Favorites

Gotham City, United States
37 years-old
Friday 29 April 1988
Not specified

A propos de Earljonez

Not specified

Earljonez - Followers

mistress_h...

BirgitHerr...

Earljonez - Followed

Earljonez's page visits

lovers5201

Freezon14

BirgitHerr...

sexymomo12...

BettyTimmo...

Windmill

brittyg09

xxx8768

Redwine

k965391

chirstinap...

missa8604

Fucked!

Miss_Whipp...

MrsPegg

TheTshirt

chaseafter...

kittina

Earljonez's FML badges

1_badgename

1_badgedesc

28_badgename

28_badgedesc

43_badgename

43_badgedesc

46_badgename

46_badgedesc

47_badgename

47_badgedesc

48_badgename

48_badgedesc

51_badgename

51_badgedesc

52_badgename

52_badgedesc

53_badgename

53_badgedesc

57_badgename

57_badgedesc

60_badgename

60_badgedesc

62_badgename

62_badgedesc

63_badgename

63_badgedesc

26_badgename

26_badgedesc

24_badgename

24_badgedesc

21_badgename

21_badgedesc

2_badgename

2_badgedesc

8_badgename

8_badgedesc

9_badgename

9_badgedesc

10_badgename

10_badgedesc

18_badgename

18_badgedesc

17_badgename

17_badgedesc

15_badgename

15_badgedesc

74_badgename

74_badgedesc

73_badgename

73_badgedesc

4_badgename

4_badgedesc

61_badgename

61_badgedesc

5_badgename

5_badgedesc

6_badgename

6_badgedesc

44_badgename

44_badgedesc

45_badgename

45_badgedesc

49_badgename

49_badgedesc

13_badgename

13_badgedesc

14_badgename

14_badgedesc

75_badgename

75_badgedesc

badgeslisttofind

Earljonez's favorite FMLs

Stellar parenting

By joi9496 - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

agreeclassic 5 726

vote type 1 482

I didn't request this

By not a boy toy - 31/03/2017 22:00

Today, I attended the will reading of the old lady who accidentally ran me over with her car years ago. I was affectionately mentioned and was left with something rather substantial. I had to listen through all that while getting evil leers and silently judged by family members who got squat. FML

agreeclassic 5 621

vote type 1 727

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

agreeclassic 11 044

vote type 1 2 806

By Nasty - 25/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

agreeclassic 13 008

vote type 1 1 379

Gross

By ew - 12/04/2016 17:53 - United States

Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 22 150

vote type 1 3 070