Brilliant66star

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Brilliant66star's favorite FMLs

Everybody wants to be a cat

By azouwa - 29/07/2017 05:00

Today, I caught my 10 year-old in the closet, naked, on his hands and knees, eating cat food straight from the bag. He'd torn a hole in the side of the bag, cat food was everywhere. We have plenty of food in the house, but he wants to be a cat. FML

agreeclassic 4 936

vote type 1 530

By FML Approved - 28/07/2017 23:00 - France - Paris

agreeclassic 1 479

vote type 1 220

By Justlooking - 28/07/2017 20:00

Today, my new husband of two weeks attempted to solicit sex from a hooker. He tried to excuse himself by saying, "I would never cheat on you! I was just looking." FML

agreeclassic 6 449

vote type 1 592

By JDC - 28/07/2017 13:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years thinks so little of our future together that he doesn't want to share a Costco membership. FML

agreeclassic 3 804

vote type 1 538

By BatIntoHell - 28/07/2017 03:21 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I learned that there's a colony of bats living inside my walls. The devices to prevent them from reentering are angering those remaining inside, and now I can hear them scuttling and screeching in almost every wall and ceiling in my house. FML

agreeclassic 5 621

vote type 1 500

Otterbot app_comment_confession_title

Otterbot 3

Friday 21 July 2017 18:45

OP here, didn't have an account so I made one to comment! The devices that were installed are like one-way doors, so the bats can leave but not get back in. This meant the ones still in the walls got distressed when the ones outside didn't return. They're classed as "wildlife" meaning they can't be exterminated, so this is one of the easiest, non-lethal solutions to getting them out. It's been about a week, and the wall-scuttling has calmed down as they filter out, but it was like living in a haunted house the first few nights. Plus, over the course of the week 7 bats got to the interior of the house through vents (yeesh.) We caught those safely and returned them outside, but waking up in the middle of the night to a bat in your bedroom is not an alarm I'd recommend.