masterofbugs123

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Maryland, US
27 years-old
Monday 27 April 1998
couple

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Masterofbugs123's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 13:39 - United States - Columbus

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

agreeclassic 33 836

vote type 1 6 075

By Anonymous - 19/04/2015 15:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

agreeclassic 29 767

vote type 1 7 914

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 18/04/2015 16:45 - United States - Oakland

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

agreeclassic 31 039

vote type 1 11 611

Mixed signals

By fuck - 18/04/2015 14:38 - United States - Saint Thomas

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

agreeclassic 25 578

vote type 1 35 100

The higher power provides

By jamongrande - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

agreeclassic 32 596

vote type 1 4 497