SMurphy501

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Smurphy501's favorite FMLs

By ScenicSubterfuge - 16/07/2013 16:01 - United States - Houston

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

agreeclassic 45 696

vote type 1 2 847

ScenicSubterfuge app_comment_confession_title

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Tuesday 16 July 2013 23:26

OP here, that thought hasn't even crossed my mind! That's scary! Haha, she's fine now, but we're already considering moving her to an old folks home -- she's in her late 70s -- so that'll be the next move!

You OK?

By hellbound - 12/07/2013 16:35 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

agreeclassic 22 767

vote type 1 54 916

By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 14:24 - United States

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

agreeclassic 110 873

vote type 1 13 098

By disappointed dad - 19/05/2013 07:35 - United States

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

agreeclassic 53 849

vote type 1 4 904

By Aberrombie Blue - 18/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Durham

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

agreeclassic 47 906

vote type 1 14 126