killergirl1001

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Langley, Canada
30 years-old
Monday 30 October 1995
single

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I'm amazing

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Killergirl1001's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 02/07/2012 07:23

Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML

agreeclassic 7 780

vote type 1 53 408

Butterfly

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML

agreeclassic 43 565

vote type 1 2 870

By FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

agreeclassic 707

vote type 1 493

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 13:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

agreeclassic 15 971

vote type 1 140 364

By Lady_Luck - 25/03/2009 19:31 - United States

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

agreeclassic 26 822

vote type 1 126 963