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fuckme_328385

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30 years-old
Friday 30 December 1994
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A propos de Fuckme_328385

Conservative but who cares

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Fuckme_328385's favorite FMLs

By f__k_it - 18/01/2009 16:30 - United States

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

agreeclassic 22 996

vote type 1 42 237

Why would you say that?

By Rowaelin16 - 23/08/2016 02:50 - United States - Chicago

Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML

agreeclassic 19 070

vote type 1 1 484

By Emmereen - 23/08/2016 02:21 - United States - Auburn

Today, I overheard two classmates wondering who Joan of Arc was. They agreed among themselves that she had to be the wife of Noah. We're in college. FML

agreeclassic 15 741

vote type 1 1 112

Emmereen app_comment_confession_title

Emmereen 29

Wednesday 24 August 2016 0:58

It didn't sound like they were, but I suppose I can give them the benefit of the doubt.

By smellsfunnyinfrance - 21/08/2016 16:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to ask my sister if she'd shit her pants because the smell of poop was following us around Paris. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I had to ask an eighteen-year-old, or that she said yes and didn't do anything. FML

agreeclassic 18 828

vote type 1 1 205

By CyberPsycho - 19/08/2016 20:57 - United States - Nashville

Today, a pharmacist slut-shamed me for taking birth control. I'm still a virgin, and I only take those pills to help with my acne and period cramps. FML

agreeclassic 18 888

vote type 1 1 218

CyberPsycho app_comment_confession_title

CyberPsycho 21

Sunday 21 August 2016 1:12

UPDATE: I called the manager and told him about my encounter. He wants me to come talk to him about it further but I'll admit that I'm still kind of embarrassed to go back to that store....