IBLooDxMooNI

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Ibloodxmooni's favorite FMLs

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By nthor - 11/03/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, a man on the train asked me if I had any change. I quickly responded with, "No habla ingles." He then tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

agreeclassic 14 704

vote type 1 141 259

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 11:23 - Sweden

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

agreeclassic 33 080

vote type 1 6 661

By ChubbyTubby - 17/01/2010 18:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

agreeclassic 24 688

vote type 1 6 728

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

agreeclassic 35 072

vote type 1 7 800

By Anonymous - 24/11/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

agreeclassic 10 687

vote type 1 29 313