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Lubbock, United States
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Monday 08 August 1988
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Linux_fml's favorite FMLs

Gamers, man…

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!" He then started singing the Super Mario Brothers theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

agreeclassic 32 873

vote type 1 5 889

Brief encounter

By stephiew - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

agreeclassic 28 193

vote type 1 2 623

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

agreeclassic 81 800

vote type 1 8 527

By redhanded - 28/05/2011 09:24 - United States

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

agreeclassic 17 743

vote type 1 61 856

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

agreeclassic 38 001

vote type 1 50 067