JIMI2000

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M'BORO, 'MERICA
26 years-old
Sunday 17 January 1999
single

A propos de Jimi2000

Have you seen the bridge?

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Jimi2000's favorite FMLs

By ihavepinkbackpac - 28/02/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

agreeclassic 81 873

vote type 1 804 187

Am I being detained?

By JimmyT - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water, and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

agreeclassic 43 044

vote type 1 14 499

By catdog - 02/01/2013 06:07 - United States - West Sacramento

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

agreeclassic 43 574

vote type 1 4 534

Wurdz is hard

By Holy Testacles - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression, "Knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as, "Kill yourself." FML

agreeclassic 31 194

vote type 1 7 971

Thoughts and prayers

By poordog - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote, "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote, "I hope she does." It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote, "I hope she dies" instead. FML

agreeclassic 36 582

vote type 1 9 437