AmericanJedhead

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A propos de Americanjedhead

Hey there!!! Well, I'm Carly, an average girl...(okay I'm not really average, actually I'm pretty awesome aha) c: I like reading FMLs because it makes my life seem better by comparison... and why not admit it? Some of them can be pretty freaking hilarious. Message me if ya want! I might respond, but not for a while because I mostly use my iPod. Hope you enjoyed stalking me! xx Carly

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Americanjedhead's favorite FMLs

By -___- - 14/09/2012 23:06 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

agreeclassic 29 692

vote type 1 3 359

By Sarah - 30/08/2012 12:58 - United States - Hampton Bays

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

agreeclassic 38 901

vote type 1 2 124

By shastadoe - 06/08/2012 06:37 - United States - Los Banos

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

agreeclassic 31 641

vote type 1 5 864

By Anonymous - 28/08/2012 04:29 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

agreeclassic 35 849

vote type 1 6 543

By diggingaplotforone - 11/08/2012 23:47 - United States - Redlands

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

agreeclassic 37 204

vote type 1 9 592