i_Love_fml

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I_love_fml's favorite FMLs

Self-soothing

By FingerBang - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML

agreeclassic 13 298

vote type 1 34 723

By broken - 02/09/2009 09:45 - Australia

Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the driveway, hitting my leg, and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML

agreeclassic 53 416

vote type 1 10 245

By Catscratch - 01/09/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

agreeclassic 46 499

vote type 1 3 268

By Michelle - 28/08/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

agreeclassic 69 865

vote type 1 17 489

By Mak10 - 21/08/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and asked, "Who am I?" He then replied, "An idiot." FML

agreeclassic 18 495

vote type 1 51 208