cooljak96

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Cooljak96's favorite FMLs

By the long distance guy - 08/04/2014 07:56 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

agreeclassic 47 795

vote type 1 6 992

Freak out

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

agreeclassic 47 459

vote type 1 3 621

I have sex

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 17:58 - United States - Athens

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

agreeclassic 57 551

vote type 1 16 308