kelliphant

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Windmill

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Fucked!

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Kelliphant's favorite FMLs

Oh no, oh God no

By hlev24 - 03/03/2009 16:20 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

agreeclassic 104 111

vote type 1 6 735

Probably not

By Michael tee - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

agreeclassic 26 789

vote type 1 5 146

By Nickname - 28/07/2011 02:02 - United States

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

agreeclassic 43 004

vote type 1 6 265

Too many JCS videos

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

agreeclassic 40 377

vote type 1 7 987

Cheeky

By BurnedByAWaiter - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

agreeclassic 41 624

vote type 1 8 465