Smokes1194

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Smokes1194's favorite FMLs

By J…… - 24/11/2009 18:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity, which is known to be "the scariest film ever." After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

agreeclassic 14 631

vote type 1 35 509

By Anonymous - 23/10/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

agreeclassic 10 730

vote type 1 41 635

Unloveable

By cc10 - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - China

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them wants me. FML

agreeclassic 65 658

vote type 1 4 256

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 17:53 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

agreeclassic 38 074

vote type 1 2 925

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

agreeclassic 41 506

vote type 1 2 809