OMGShoes1994

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Kamuela, United States of America
31 years-old
Friday 08 April 1994
Not specified

A propos de Omgshoes1994

What the hell? My name is Jen and I am broke as fudge. You should already know this shit. I make my wish every time that special day in April rolls around. I believe feeling old should be embraced considering fifteen is quite a number. Fight the power. Purple is my color because I own that shit-ake mushrooms. I enjoy shouting random life-story facts over the internet. You may or may not have noticed. Sarcasm is my given gift and someday it will be used for good. I promise. My life would epically suck without music and horror movies. I seriously need that crap every day. It lights up the burning soul within me. I should probably go. I am starting to go all poeticly-freaky on your arse. I fudging love you guys and you know it. Is it even legal to intentionally swear over the internet? Shit-ake mushrooms. What a mother fudger.

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Omgshoes1994's favorite FMLs

Stop lying

By dinosaurman - 07/10/2009 16:07 - Canada

Today, I found out that my sister, who is 16 years older than me, is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

agreeclassic 192 666

vote type 1 10 025

Socks 4 Life

By Socklessandsmelly - 26/05/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML

agreeclassic 19 831

vote type 1 47 467

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

agreeclassic 20 264

vote type 1 46 595

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

agreeclassic 67 755

vote type 1 7 134

By BerryRockstar - 21/04/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

agreeclassic 76 786

vote type 1 17 816

BerryRockstar app_comment_confession_title

BerryRockstar 9

Thursday 23 April 2009 13:25

AAAHH I can't believe I posted this on here and now i have to EXPLAIN myself to you people. Well there's the thing. 1) This was totally not a "Today" but a totally "Last November" 2) He was wearing headphones when we got into it, so why should i help him any 3) This was the FIRST time we'd done it, so HE was the bad lay 4) We're not dating anymore (I broke up with him) 5) FML anyway for wasting so much time with him I know i cheated on the "today" thing, but who hasn't. It just says that they all relatively START with "today" and END with FML. I hope this answers a couple of questions.