VandalHeartX

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Vandalheartx's favorite FMLs

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 20/08/2011 14:08 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

agreeclassic 35 851

vote type 1 8 683

How did it come to this?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to say, "Put away your burrito," "That ruler is not a lightsaber," and, "Stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

agreeclassic 36 726

vote type 1 5 371

By W1D0 - 20/08/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

agreeclassic 39 106

vote type 1 5 035

By KiDCuSHi - 20/08/2011 04:58 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML

agreeclassic 13 085

vote type 1 76 671

By Anonymous - 20/08/2011 04:41 - United States

Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML

agreeclassic 56 700

vote type 1 4 151