jeremy0690

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Jeremy0690's favorite FMLs

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

agreeclassic 22 118

vote type 1 2 449

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 08:38 - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

agreeclassic 38 823

vote type 1 9 712

By backstabbed - 29/10/2011 07:22 - Australia

Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML

agreeclassic 42 609

vote type 1 3 111

Pleased to see me?

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

agreeclassic 35 820

vote type 1 20 071

Unfair

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 15:52 - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

agreeclassic 32 636

vote type 1 5 708