jivveturkey

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Jivveturkey's favorite FMLs

By Noname - 05/03/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

agreeclassic 88 874

vote type 1 5 452

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

agreeclassic 34 613

vote type 1 22 056

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

agreeclassic 32 232

vote type 1 5 121

By Anonymous - 03/02/2012 07:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML

agreeclassic 33 949

vote type 1 4 360

By RequilaRainbow - 26/01/2012 07:34 - Canada

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

agreeclassic 32 710

vote type 1 4 340