synthesis_fml

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Synthesis_fml's favorite FMLs

Opportunist

By Mick - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

agreeclassic 865 451

vote type 1 95 093

Worried dad

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 04:17 - Canada

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

agreeclassic 64 398

vote type 1 12 248

By daydreamer - 29/07/2012 05:12 - United States - Wilton

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

agreeclassic 12 177

vote type 1 29 314

By Infiltrator4444 - 26/07/2012 01:11 - United States - Lexington

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

agreeclassic 11 788

vote type 1 38 453

Infiltrator4444 app_comment_confession_title

Infiltrator4444 6

Thursday 26 July 2012 19:26

I told my father that it's something all guys do at least once, and that he probably did too, to which he replied, "Son, I don't have enough to measure."

By Arthurie - 24/07/2012 23:44 - United States - Plainview

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

agreeclassic 38 131

vote type 1 5 168