Szczechy

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Szczechy's favorite FMLs

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 800

vote type 1 1 942

By hater - 16/03/2010 10:55

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

agreeclassic 64 240

vote type 1 14 847

Gamers, man…

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!" He then started singing the Super Mario Brothers theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

agreeclassic 32 873

vote type 1 5 889

By captainkevineff - 11/03/2010 14:44 - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

agreeclassic 25 968

vote type 1 3 650

By Al - 10/03/2010 02:07 - United States

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

agreeclassic 26 026

vote type 1 2 928