hipposrock101

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Hipposrock101's favorite FMLs

By I_Has_A_Fishy - 10/07/2012 19:33 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

agreeclassic 31 706

vote type 1 3 463

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

agreeclassic 24 998

vote type 1 12 177

By Anonymous - 12/07/2012 06:40 - United States - Houston

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

agreeclassic 38 386

vote type 1 4 741

Cool moves, dude

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Goteborg

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

agreeclassic 9 373

vote type 1 37 975

By r4inb0wbrit3 - 13/07/2012 07:37 - United States - Townsend

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

agreeclassic 16 530

vote type 1 37 957