jack123456789

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Detroit
29 years-old
Monday 20 May 1996
single

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Jack123456789's favorite FMLs

By hahahehehohohoo - 07/02/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

agreeclassic 324 598

vote type 1 58 702

By chumman - 06/05/2014 13:55 - United States - New York

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

agreeclassic 58 185

vote type 1 20 932

Caught a stray bullet

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

agreeclassic 50 031

vote type 1 17 819

Easy

By FootinMouth - 18/07/2013 21:48 - United States - Louisville

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

agreeclassic 32 495

vote type 1 54 709

By lilly1105 - 15/07/2013 13:19 - United States - Clemson

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

agreeclassic 54 724

vote type 1 27 416

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lilly1105 10

Monday 15 July 2013 23:47

Y'all made me laugh and rethink my **** watching, thanks!