darkspeed34

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Darkspeed34's favorite FMLs

By SeeingLlamas - 17/04/2012 09:38 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

agreeclassic 37 136

vote type 1 3 094

By potassiumgirl - 11/04/2012 19:53 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

agreeclassic 12 073

vote type 1 38 925

By yamsterr - 12/03/2012 16:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

agreeclassic 33 948

vote type 1 6 694

By Rapunzel - 18/03/2012 20:02 - United States - Tucson

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

agreeclassic 33 135

vote type 1 3 076

So… good news, or…?

By daddy-o - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

agreeclassic 35 098

vote type 1 21 194