billreines

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Billreines's favorite FMLs

By S4L - 02/07/2009 04:13 - France

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

agreeclassic 50 830

vote type 1 23 385

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 01:31 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

agreeclassic 31 897

vote type 1 7 661

Up it goes

By 0stvn0 - 16/03/2012 01:18 - Canada

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

agreeclassic 33 782

vote type 1 5 698

By W45T3D_Y0UTH - 15/03/2012 20:44 - Canada

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

agreeclassic 28 780

vote type 1 10 109

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Friday 16 March 2012 1:35

Nothing that makes me look like a prostitute. Makes one wonder how one could get mistaken for one at noon. In front of a cop car, no less.

By PixieWrists - 13/03/2012 17:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

agreeclassic 29 834

vote type 1 4 103