importantshit

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Importantshit's favorite FMLs

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

agreeclassic 23 106

vote type 1 50 283

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 23:02 - Ireland - Waterford

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

agreeclassic 33 751

vote type 1 4 048

By Tonguetied0496 - 10/12/2012 07:21 - United States - Claremont

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

agreeclassic 37 895

vote type 1 7 424

Thanks for the memories

By Likian5 - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

agreeclassic 27 452

vote type 1 2 981

By hahagirl - 12/09/2012 05:40 - United Kingdom

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

agreeclassic 10 458

vote type 1 34 888