newyorkmets75

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New York, United States
27 years-old
Thursday 29 January 1998
Not specified

A propos de Newyorkmets75

I love to play football and baseball.

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Newyorkmets75's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 22:20 - Canada

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 34 449

vote type 1 4 365

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

agreeclassic 267 596

vote type 1 90 937

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

agreeclassic 40 804

vote type 1 4 171

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

agreeclassic 66 309

vote type 1 7 606

By itsrathersmall - 15/01/2013 21:58 - United States - Fargo

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

agreeclassic 48 154

vote type 1 7 734