uzairmacy

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Sacramento, US
28 years-old
Saturday 26 April 1997
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A propos de Uzairmacy

I make excessively shitty comments so that others can thrive from it :)

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Uzairmacy's favorite FMLs

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

agreeclassic 58 666

vote type 1 15 454

By mfischer - 16/11/2012 09:40 - United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

agreeclassic 35 797

vote type 1 5 494

mfischer app_comment_confession_title

mfischer 17

Saturday 17 November 2012 3:33

I was wearing regular jeans. I do occasionally wear skinny jeans, but nothing like this ever happened.

By notalovestory - 11/11/2012 22:48 - United Kingdom - Potters Bar

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

agreeclassic 27 105

vote type 1 11 670

By yeah - 22/06/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

agreeclassic 14 765

vote type 1 27 787

By anonymous - 20/06/2012 14:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

agreeclassic 27 147

vote type 1 6 612