kiwi15499

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Kiwi15499's favorite FMLs

Not funny

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 18:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

agreeclassic 27 190

vote type 1 2 701

Thanks Susan

By ZombieGirl0417 - 30/09/2015 21:13 - United States - Jupiter

Today, my aunt asked to see my new airsoft pistol. Not thinking anything of it, I handed it to her. She shot me in the leg. I was standing next to her. FML

agreeclassic 22 235

vote type 1 4 508

By lentkaysi - 10/09/2015 22:55 - United States - Syracuse

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

agreeclassic 30 626

vote type 1 2 226

lentkaysi app_comment_confession_title

lentkaysi 8

Friday 11 September 2015 16:42

wow thanks for all the comments guys! yes, my luck in this case was awful. for those wondering, I did pay my insurance. the issue wasn't non payment. I just bought my car less than a month ago. Progressive, my company, never informed me of the photo inspection with new cars and since this is my first new car I had no idea. They chose their sole form of communication through postal service. Never received an email. so comp and collision were cancelled on my car insurance. Now the post office is 100% responsible for fixing my car. However, since its the government insurance they take their sweet time. I will be without my car for many months unless my insurance will cover and they can reimburse my insurance. You guessed it....that's not gonna happen. yes I will be suing. yes I will be without my brand new car, that now has $7000 worth of damage. fml.

By dammit - 12/09/2015 08:11 - Australia - Redbank

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

agreeclassic 25 476

vote type 1 4 792

By EverettA - 11/09/2015 13:50 - United States - Lewis Center

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

agreeclassic 34 168

vote type 1 3 000