SgtStiglitz

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Sgtstiglitz's favorite FMLs

By Cantgetno - 20/09/2011 07:45 - United States

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 57 505

vote type 1 6 837

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

agreeclassic 27 026

vote type 1 3 570

By mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

agreeclassic 41 216

vote type 1 5 057

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

agreeclassic 40 764

vote type 1 4 492

By 42 - 07/07/2010 09:43 - Canada

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

agreeclassic 42 756

vote type 1 4 122