dpaul

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Dpaul's favorite FMLs

Genius

By ohno - 13/07/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

agreeclassic 36 477

vote type 1 7 100

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

agreeclassic 82 220

vote type 1 8 012

Inappropriate, honey

By Jessica - 15/05/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

agreeclassic 35 127

vote type 1 47 721

By Mason_Jayson - 22/03/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

agreeclassic 45 870

vote type 1 168 681

Mason_Jayson app_comment_confession_title

Mason_Jayson 0

Monday 23 March 2009 18:37

This is my FML. In my UNDESERVED defense...I do have a little OCD, I work in healthcare and automatically want to help when I see something like that, and there may have been a few beers involved. I'm not a pervert and have never done anything like that before (and you had better believe since). And for those who are curious: the mole was on her shoulder and the hair I touched was down by her shoulderbladeish area. This sucker was LONG.