MyLifeIsRubbish

I have the two most irrational parents in the world. The meanest but best friend in the world. I have two dogs and two cats. An older brother by four years. I am a complete atheist. As soon as I'm aloud to vote, I'm going Tory! I am a firm beleiver I will never get drunk as I manage to look like a complete tool sober. I am only sexist when it works in my favor. I do no sport at all. My philosophies for life: If at first you don't suceed, redefine success! When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown, yet only 4 to bitch slap that mother F****er! A few queries: Why didn't Tarzan have a beard? What do veggies feed their pets? Can mute people burp? Why does the Easter Bunny carry eggs? As far as I know they're mammals. If corn oil is made from corn, vegitable oil is made from vegetables, what's baby oil made from? For Clarification: Despite the topic of most of my favourate FMLs I am not a sex obsessed perv! I am not a facist!