maxxacre

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Mesa, United States
38 years-old
Tuesday 15 December 1987
single

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Maxxacre's favorite FMLs

By DieTrying - 02/02/2012 09:31 - United States

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

agreeclassic 35 282

vote type 1 5 482

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

agreeclassic 37 198

vote type 1 31 143

Ouch

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 23:07 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

agreeclassic 38 957

vote type 1 6 301

By OH COME ON - 29/12/2011 15:48 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

agreeclassic 33 770

vote type 1 5 559

By adieuvelib - 15/10/2011 01:53 - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

agreeclassic 36 215

vote type 1 5 795