Johnoxd

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Johnoxd's favorite FMLs

By LonerCow - 20/01/2012 15:15 - United States

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

agreeclassic 41 645

vote type 1 11 658

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:09 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

agreeclassic 43 341

vote type 1 8 056

Ugly truth

By uglywoman - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my six year-old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said, "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

agreeclassic 129 974

vote type 1 17 688

By Anonymous - 26/12/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

agreeclassic 11 883

vote type 1 41 203

By Pouya - 18/12/2010 06:03 - United States

Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML

agreeclassic 11 788

vote type 1 42 896