patwmm

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Newport, United States
31 years-old
Monday 23 May 1994
couple

A propos de Patwmm

The first thing I do when I wake up is open the FML app and start my day with a smile.

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Fucked!

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Patwmm's favorite FMLs

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

agreeclassic 10 492

vote type 1 80 914

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 19:28 - United States

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

agreeclassic 51 238

vote type 1 14 280

See ya

By Emily - 14/02/2011 20:25 - France

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

agreeclassic 42 973

vote type 1 7 388

By Mikabe - 14/02/2011 18:51 - Sweden

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

agreeclassic 35 437

vote type 1 12 979

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 17:15 - Belgium

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

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