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Fmlchill's favorite FMLs

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 799

vote type 1 1 941

By Samantha - 01/01/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend talked me into having drunk sex. Right after we started, my head hit a wall, knocking me out. I woke up to him taking pics of my tits. FML

agreeclassic 38 187

vote type 1 12 539

Stay classy

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 19:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

agreeclassic 48 820

vote type 1 3 802

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

agreeclassic 32 695

vote type 1 4 994

Loose fit

By cloud7 - 27/12/2010 03:40

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

agreeclassic 36 876

vote type 1 6 918