ASSASSIN95

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A propos de Assassin95

Im in highschool and college at the same time. i play basketball, and i play a few games but dont have the money for much of anything

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Assassin95's favorite FMLs

By lifesucks4me - 23/02/2009 12:51 - United States

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

agreeclassic 161 048

vote type 1 13 793

By mile high clubber - 14/07/2013 10:41 - United States - Bensalem

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

agreeclassic 65 196

vote type 1 13 698

By vet1 - 11/07/2013 15:18 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

agreeclassic 63 651

vote type 1 7 359

Prank of the day

By datingablonde - 11/01/2013 05:20 - Australia - Attadale

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

agreeclassic 38 306

vote type 1 9 628

By Anonymous - 25/12/2012 07:12 - United States

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

agreeclassic 20 872

vote type 1 55 593