azaelgza98

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Azaelgza98's favorite FMLs

Jumpy

By Chelsea - 21/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

agreeclassic 15 704

vote type 1 71 119

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

agreeclassic 47 093

vote type 1 4 131

By MySonThePoet - 27/10/2014 02:42 - United States - Racine

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

agreeclassic 37 829

vote type 1 5 483

By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

agreeclassic 33 558

vote type 1 4 060

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

agreeclassic 41 546

vote type 1 4 904